Total Headache!!

Ok, so today was court....again!  It was for the case worker to submit the case plan to the judge and the judge wanted us there to hear from us personally that we are willing to support the case plan by doing visitation and working towards reunification.  Obviously we hope the baby never has to live a life with them but we aren't so desperate to adopt that we'll do anything & everything to prevent them from getting their son.  (That's what their afraid of!)

So I got there a lil' early so they could stick me in a separate room rather than waiting in the hall with everyone else.  *For my own safety was the reason...LOL  Since Dirk & Christine hate me & are crazy!! ;)  Jonathan's training academy is right around the corner so he wanted to come be at court too and be there in case they wanted to get in my face!

Well after Jonathan got there & was waiting in the room with me & bubba..the parents got there.  CPS worker was in with me and wanted to at least take baby out to see them since it had been almost 2 weeks since we got him & no visits yet.  I was just started to feed him so she took him & bottle out to mom & dad.  20-30 min went by when they had him and then before we went in for court they said they had to leave for another appt.  WHAT??  Why would you have any other "appointment" on the morning you have court? Don't be dumb!  Jon & I both felt like they just wanted to avoid me at all costs & avoid any confrontation.

In court Christine's defence attorney accepted the case plan as did the judge.  Then CPS reminded him why he asked us to be there.  Def atty said Christine has told her that "the only reason we are in this is to adopt & that we are willing to do anything necessary to keep the baby & adopt him". Which is totally untrue & we have never said that!  If that was the case I can see why she is so scared of him being with us.  So the judge says, "well I need to hear from you then that you ARE willing to work with them".

Jonathan says, "Yes your honor, we are foster parents and as with our other foster kids we've done visitation and when parents are ready we have given kids back.  We plan to do the same here"

I pipe in....., "What Christine doesn't realize is that we have been foster parents for over 3 years and this is our 13th foster child.  The ONLY child we have adopted is Mya and that is solely because she was abandoned & for 13 months in foster care they never made any attempt to get her back. We were done fostering & had therefore "closed" our license in this past year.  We also had sold/ given away EVERYTHING baby because we had NO intentions of fostering/adopting anymore.  That is until we got the call that Mya had a sibling. It wasn't an easy yes or a quick answer. We had to really decide to do it.  And we are doing it just so the baby can be with his sister."

Defence Atty- "That is the problem, your honor- Legally she is not a sibling! There is no legal relationship and we feel it is "CRUEL" to have the baby placed with a them when he will not be raised with them.  Once the baby is back with parents they will have ZERO contact with the Christensen's and their daughter!"  (ok, ummm, I'll try not to be offended that they not only abandoned my daughter but then also state they want nothing to do with her, ever)  Not that I want them to have anything to do with her, but geesh, you would think the mother at least would always think of her or love her, not NOT want to have "her son" around her & her family!!  ;(

Then she said that Christine told her that I emailed her while she was pregnant and said that I am ready and able to adopt the baby as soon as she has it. What the??!  That we wanted the baby from the beginning & will do anything to get him.  That I also told her family that she was pregnant!  Oh please, I didn't know anything about her being pregnant till the CPS worker called on the 16th and said Mya had a brother and asked if we would take him.  And even then I didn't want him or know what to do.  After 3-4 days we decided we should take him ONLY because it's Mya's brother. Any other baby would have been an easy NO.  ;)
On November 19th I did contact Christine's dad (whom I've been in contact with since Mya's adoption last year.  He lives in CA and is raising the other 3 kids she abandoned, all on his own at 70)  I called him not because I wanted to stress him out over all this, which is what totally happened and I feel awful..... but because at that point the baby was deemed "abandoned" and if she wasn't coming back like she didn't with Mya, then I wanted her dad to be able to contact her and ask her to relinquish her rights.
With Mya we had to wait 90 days of no parental contact before they even STARTED terminating rights.  Then months of that, then finally the adoption when she was over 1 year old.  I didn't want to go the long route if she wasn't coming back into the picture. CPS & her dad agreed with me.  But by him contacting her, that lite the fire.  (although she doesn't think I told him now- she thinks it was CPS - they took the bullet to save me ;)......but she does know that I talk to dad- and she HATES it)

So the Judge turned it around on the def atty and said that he thought it was CRUEL to NOT have the baby with his sister and then not allow them to know each other even IF/WHEN he goes back home.  I am in contact with Mya's 16 yr old sister & hope to one day have contact with the younger two, whom grandpa hasn't even told about Mya yet....because they've had a hard time since Mom bounced on them, and grandma died.
So i think our scenario looks better to have all 5 kids in contact then 4 abandoned and 1 left with heroin addict, violent criminal parents!!!  HELLOOO!!

They fought it out back & forth.  Def atty one side, D.A. CPS & Case worker with us on our side.  Ultimately the judge says you don't have any good evidence why baby should be moved from us.  Too bad they don't like us, that's not good enough.  
The atty then asked for an evidentury (SP) hearing.  To prove or show the problems with having the baby with us.  The judge said there is no reason to waist anyones time with that.  Then she brought up something else that he shot down.  Bottom line they don't have any good excuses but they sure are trying hard to make our life hell.  I won't be surprised if they continually come up with other ideas.  I just hope they don't have anything good.

On November 15th my life was normal and relatively stress free. After today, I'd like to just go back to that. I know we got our "answer" and feel like we should take him. But if felt really pointless after today. We are not trying to adopt a baby, I'd have one if I wanted one THAT bad. We didn't even want to foster.  We finally talk ourselves into it and the county finally talks us into it and I feel like its just been a nightmare of stress.    I feel like I could give up, pack his little things and hand him back.  Wash my hands of it and walk away!!  I came home with that attitude and wanted to nap my migraine away. Of course Chubba Bubba wouldn't go to sleep which made matters worse, I asked him, "what the heck bubba, I'm tired and grumpy...please go to sleep!"  He smiled the biggest cutest smile with 100% love back at me!   Awe, now what...what do you do with that?  :)

p.s. this is my shorter version!! LOL Thanks for reading my novel!!